The online petition portal of the Obama White House allows users to submit and sign petitions. Those that acquire 25,000 signatures within a certain period of time then receive an official response from the administration. One such petition is actually an amusing commentary on the petition process itself :

We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition.

Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.

It currently has over 10,000 signers, so 15,000 more are needed by December 4th before they get their response. But even if they fall short, it’s not too hard to find vapid, condescending and meaningless statements out of this White House. Just pick a speech by the President and wait for him to open his mouth.